The Importance Of Having A Sister Circle

Having a support system is so important when you are on a journey to elevate or change your life.  As a woman - I know that there were times that I felt that I HAD to be independent and figure things out on my own.  Asking for help or guidance was not something I was always good at.

In today's episode I talk about having a sister circle and how to create one.   When you are on this journey of elevation - you don't have to do it alone.  Finding like minded women to root for you, to support you and to pour into is one of the best things you can do.

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Transcript

Bella:
Welcome to the How To Stop Being Broke Podcast, where the mission is to change your mindset about how you manage your finances so you can build a financial future that you can be proud of. My name is Bella Jones and I am your host. So relax, sit back and let's jump into today's conversation.

Bella:
Hey, hey, hey. So we are back for another episode. And in today's episode, we are going to talk about the importance of having a sister circle. Now, if you do follow me on my other platforms, you may have heard me talk about this concept before. It is something that I am very passionate about and so in today's episode, I will talk about what a sister circle is and how you can start to create your own sister circle.

Bella:
So when you are embarking on a new journey, whether it is, you're trying to improve your health, improve or elevate your finances, maybe start a business, you're trying to change careers or elevate in your current career. You are going to go through so many emotions. You may get scared. You might feel overwhelmed. You might feel intimidated, frustrated, excited, and there may even be times where you feel discouraged and may be tempted to give up.

Bella:
I know that for me, I have gone through all of these emotions at various points in my life and so I can definitely speak to these unequivocally. So the one thing that I can also say that has really helped me tremendously is having a sister circle. Now, in retrospect, I didn't know I was creating these sister circles, but now that I've kind of looked back at my journeys and the different phases of my life, I have always had a sister circle and the women in these circles have changed over the years.

Bella:
So let's talk about what is a sister circle? Well, this is essentially a group of like minded women who are going to give you the support and encouragement that you need while you are on this journey. Now, what I will say is that when it comes to finding these women, they should be a combination of certain people.

Bella:
So I would say one, you want to find women who are on the same journey as you. They are either at the very same starting point where you are, or they might even be a few steps ahead. Now this is really important because they can essentially understand what you are going through, right? You can actually share stories. You can share mistakes and you can essentially learn from each other because you are pretty much going through the same thing. And then you also want to have women in this sister circle who have already completed this journey or where they are right now is where you ultimately want to be. Now, having women that are at this stage is really important because they've already been through the entire journey from beginning to end. So they can really share with you their experiences. They can share with you their mistakes.

Bella:
They can kind of maybe shorten the learning curve so you can kind of bypass the mistakes that they've made. And ultimately they may be able to give you a new perspective because they've already gone through the journey and when they had that retrospective view, they're going to be able to share things with you that maybe they didn't know while they were in the journey.

Bella:
Now that we've talked about what a sister circle is, essentially, I want to talk about a few things to keep in mind, and then we'll jump right into how to even begin creating this sister circle. So in my experience, I have found that for the most part, that this sister circle works best when it is comprised of people that you do not know. I know that might sound counter-intuitive, but let me explain. So the people who know you, whether it's from childhood or from high school, college, whatever the case may be, they're not always the best selection. And that is for a few reasons. Again, it's all my opinion. So take it for what it's worth, but I want you to keep some of these things in mind as you start to build your own sister circle.

Bella:
So the first thing I would say is jealousy. So if you do start this journey with someone that you know, and let's say your progress happens faster, or you start to get better results, that person may become jealous, and that can essentially ruin the friendship. Now, for me, I would hope that this person would look at it as a way of being inspired to say, "Hey, if you did it, that means I can do it too, just my time hasn't happened yet." But it takes a certain level of maturity and self-awareness to think like that, and not everyone thinks like that. So to kind of keep things neutral, again, keeping people who you don't know in your sister circle may end up being better for you.

Bella:
Now, the other part to that is if you do bring this person in your sister circle, and they're not on the same journey as you, they may actually become envious of your growth. You know, unfortunately as much as people may love you and like you, not everyone is going to be genuinely happy to see you elevate and grow. So because of that, you really want to be mindful again about the people that you do essentially take with you on this journey.

Bella:
Now, the other reason why people that you know may not be the best selection to include in your sister circle is they're going to have jaded opinions, whether they know it or not, right? When someone is very close to you and they know your history, they know your background, they know the mistakes that you've made. They know the thing that you've been through. They are going to have their own preconceived notions about what you will or won't be able to accomplish.

Bella:
Now, with that being said, because of that, if they are going to be jaded, you don't want that energy around you as you are on this journey. As we know, toxic people can definitely stunt your growth and they may actually take you off track in your journey. So again, this is why you want to be very intentional and very careful about who you include in your sister circle. Now it's not to say that you can't share your experiences and your wins with these people, but you may want to limit how much information you share with them because of their jaded opinions, because of their potential to be jealous and envious, right?

Bella:
So this is something that I have had to maneuver through in the various phases of my life. And unfortunately I have removed people from my inner circle. Not to say that I don't speak to them, or we don't communicate, but I don't share the intimate details of what I am actually doing, whether it is in regards to my finances, my business, or my personal life, because I just don't feel like sharing this information is going to be beneficial for the relationship.

Bella:
And ultimately, when you are on this journey of growth and elevation, you are going to lose people along the way. That is just the natural progression of life. Not everyone is meant to be on this journey with you until the quote, unquote end. Some people are meant to be in your life for just a season. Now that season may be years, it might be weeks. It might be months, but once you start to be very aware of what you're trying to accomplish and who you are talking to on a regular basis and what you are sharing with them, you will start to make decisions about who you talk to on a regular basis, what you share with them and who you ultimately do include in your sister circle.

Bella:
Now, of course you want to use your own judgment. Everything that I am sharing with you in this episode is just meant to give you a different perspective. You may have some amazing people in your life currently that you can actually make a part of your sister circle. But again, the whole goal or mission of this episode is to get you to become very mindful about who you keep in this sister circle.

Bella:
Now we're going to jump right into creating this sister circle because it is going to take time. You're not going to find all of these amazing women overnight, but I want to share with you some strategies that I have used personally, that have really been instrumental in me creating my own sister circle.

Bella:
So I would recommend starting off with social media, because we are in this amazing time of the digital age, right? You can actually connect with like-minded people across the globe. You are no longer limited to your town or your county, or even your state. So I would first recommend starting off with places like Facebook groups if you are someone who loves Facebook. I would also recommend looking at places like Instagram. You can start off by following pages that have information and content that are aligned with your journey. And when you start to engage with these pages in regards to commenting, joining their IG lives, you may start to see some of the same names and faces commenting on the post or commenting during an Instagram live. So by becoming known in this circle, you can find like-minded people to connect with outside of Instagram. I know for me, this has been an amazing strategy. Many of the women who I consider as part of my sister circle, I found them on Instagram.

Bella:
And so again, you want to leverage the platform that you like to use. Instagram is amazing for me, but you might prefer something more like Facebook or Twitter, right? So another platform that I have found amazing is Clubhouse. So at the time that I am recording this episode, I am just a little over three months into using Clubhouse. It is the newest social media platform on the scene right now, and I have been able to connect with so many amazing women. Now, while I don't consider all of them as part of my sister circle, just the networking opportunity on Clubhouse has been extremely amazing. It has put me in rooms and places that I may not have otherwise have had access to. And it has been great in regards to growing my platform, growing my business and my brand. But again, during these Clubhouse rooms, you can find women to include in your sister circle now. Because Clubhouse is relatively new, you will need to spend some time learning how to maneuver through the app. So you can find rooms and clubs and spaces that are aligned with this journey that you are on. But again, it is a great place to start to find women to include in your sister circle.

Bella:
Now, another great place that I have connected with amazing women are webinars, master classes, and trainings. These can be amazing networking opportunities if you actually put in the work. So sometimes in certain classes, they may do a round table where everyone gets a few seconds to introduce themselves. That is a great way to find women that you naturally connect with. If not, many of these trainings have a comment section where you can literally meet other women and you just share your information, you're talking, you're commenting, you're sharing tips, and you might actually find someone that you resonate with in the comment section. I have done it. It has been an amazing experience, but again, it requires you to put yourself out there.

Bella:
Another way to find like minded women can be joining a professional organization. The women in this organization, clearly you are like-minded and as you start to go to more events, whether it's virtually, in person or just on social media, you may start to build relationships with other women who you can ultimately include in your sister circle. Another way for you to find women is hiring a coach or joining a membership program.

Bella:
So all of these methods have worked for me and they have been game-changing in regards to my development and my growth in the various journeys that I am on. But regardless of which option or options you decide to go with, the key to all of them is you have to put yourself out there. Networking is so important. For me, I can say there were definitely points in my life where I was struggling through a transition and I was like, oh, I wish I just knew the right people. I wish I had the right connections. Without even realizing that in order to have those connections and to quote unquote, know the right people, you have to go out there and find them. No one is coming to your door and say, "Hey, I heard you are amazing. Do you want to collaborate?" It's not going to happen. You have to get out of that comfort zone and get out of that bubble that you are in and start to put yourself out there.

Bella:
Now, of course, we all have different personalities, right? You may be an introvert to the depth of your soul, and it might be uncomfortable for you to kind of put yourself out there, but doing small things to kind of put yourself out there is going to be a start. It's not going to happen overnight for you, but doing small things, commenting on polls, sending someone a DM that you maybe like their polls, you like what their hair looks like, whatever it is, those small things can start to build rapport with people and start to build acquaintanceships and they can develop to a relationship, and then that might actually bring someone into your sister circle. But again, if you want to quote unquote, know the right people, you have to go out there and find them.

Bella:
So let's say you are someone who was looking to become a homeowner and the next one to three years. So here is what your sister circle should look like. So you want to find like-minded women who are on the same journey. Maybe they are working to improve their credit scores. They are working on saving up for their down payment. And they are literally in this process of researching down payment assistance programs, first time home buyer programs, and they're on this mission. You may also want to include women who may have already been pre-approved for a mortgage, and they are literally shopping around for a house. So you can learn from them how does the pre-approval process work? What things should I keep in mind? How should I prepare myself so I can successfully become pre-approved for a mortgage? And then to take it one step further, you were also going to want to include women who have already purchased a house. You want to find women who have gone through the journey from beginning to end, and they can essentially share with you their wins, what they did really well, and their losses, meaning the mistakes that they made along the way. And so by having this group of women who are essentially at different points in the journey, it's really going to give you perspectives from all sides.

Bella:
So in conclusion, when you are on a journey, you're trying to do something new, you're elevating in your life, having a support system is so important. I think sometimes as women, we feel like we have to go it alone and we really do not have to. For some reason, in this society, being a strong and independent woman is this amazing badge of honor that we're supposed to wear, even if we are suffering in silence. So I do think that opening yourself up and networking and meeting other women to kind of help support you in this journey is really the best way to set yourself up for success.

Bella:
So that is it for today's episode. I want to thank you again for stopping by, and I hope that something in this episode did resonate and that you are going to go out and start creating our sister circle, or if you already have your sister circle, maybe take us step back and reevaluate if the women that you have in the circle should still essentially be there. So have an amazing day, and I will talk to you soon.

Bella:
Thank you for listening to another episode of the How To Stop Being Broke Podcast. Now if you enjoyed today's episode and look forward to future conversations, like the one we had today, make sure to subscribe because it is time for you to stop being broke and create a financial future you can be proud of.